How come no one came to my funeral?

Dishwasing liquid never ends.

I now speak directly to all of you non-dishwasher using human beings:
Ever tried spraying the entire bottle on a pile of dish in the hope of making it all disappear?
Ever used way too much and felt bad for the environment?
Do you remember the last time you bought dishwasing liquid? No? Figured.
Have you actually seen the amount of liquid drop? You know that they don't fill the bottle to the top, right? It came that way. It has always looked like that.
Do you want to know why?
I don't mind letting you in on the secret:

Absorption

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The trick lies within the transparency of the liquid: Its definition is unrecognizable and one can only speculate in the underlying, deep truth in the dishwasing liquid.
My personal assumptions have of course laid the basis of my reasoning, and you mustn't judge me for the freeing of my mind.
Back to topic.
Let's lay down a perfect course of events:

• You get home from work/school
• After doing things that gets you satisfied (no matter of interpretation) you...
  
• run your eye over the monstrous pile of yesterday's, the day before's and the whole month before's dish
• You decide that something has to be done (and you wonder why you haven't got a memory of this particular part of your home)
• So, after minutes of focus and dilly-dallying, you commence this perpetual domestic duty
• You find yourself drowning plates, flatware and antique crystal glasses (whom you actually have no recognition of) in beautiful green soap.
  
• After hours and hours of monotonous dishwashing you are finally done

We have all been there. We have all felt despondent before pile of dish, oddly reminding you of the leaning tower of Pisa.
But, like a blessing, the next time we are faced before the very same scenario nothing has changed: the pile remains, you use the same washing-up brush like you've done for the past 40 years, and essentially: the dishwashing liquid looks the same.

Now here's my theory: The transparent bottle with the transparent fluid absorbs the behavior of its neighbours. When the pile edifies, it reflects in the easily adjusted bottle of dishwashing liquid since it has no specific action of its own (hence the title Absorption).
Now there is a way to break this chain (tho I doubt you want to):
First the three basic rules:

• Strike early and unexpectedly. (You must catch it off guard)
• Treat the suspect harsh (to avoid possible misunderstandings)
• Don't give up. (They are known for their haughtiness)

The procedure is very simple:
Grab a young bottle of dishwasher liquid, store it in a cold, dark, desolate room for exactly 48 hours before beginning the questioning.
After softening or hardening up, the bottle will come up with a distinctive colour:

Red means cruelty.
Blue means sympathy and kindness.
Green means laidbackness and in some cases even the pushover mentality.
Black means madness and measures must be taken.
White/Transparent indicates that the bottle hasn't reacted to the method. Repeat the procedure.

So, there you have it.
Beware of the everlasting dishwashing liquid bottles.
There. I warned you.